EDITOR’S NOTE: The following contains graphic descriptions of infant excrement. If you have a weak heart or have a fear of extremely messy bottoms, please do not continue.
Madeline is doing GREAT! “Happy as a little girl,” as the saying goes.
However, about a week ago, she started getting stomach upsets and plowing through the
diapers. Then on Saturday afternoon she developed a very slight fever so we called Dr. Moreira. He recommended that a stool sample be taken to determine whether she had a virus, parasite, or bacteria. Though clearly sick to the stomach, pooping green (not the normal seedy yellow breast-fed mixture) every hour or so, Maddie showed few signs of discontent, cooing and laughing and enjoying life just as much as ever… as if she didn’t know that she was not feeling well.
It cannot be overestimated how difficult it is to obtain a ‘proper’ stool sample from a baby who is shooting out diarreah (healthy infant ’stool’ is not really ’stool’ at all, but rather a thin, pudding-like mixture.) We have an excellent service in Dakar called ‘Bio24′, a medical laboratory which, as the name implies, is open 24 hours a day. They will even come to your house to get a sample of whatever you need tested, for a small fee. But instead of having them come out to our place (which, unfortunately, is about as far from the Bio24 laboratory as possible; we are on the northern tip of the peninsula and the lab is downtown, on the southern tip), we decided to wait until a good sample came along and then take it ourselves. Stool samples must be tested within 90 minutes of ‘ejection’. The poop cannot be in a diaper either, because the couche absorbs too much of the liquid needed for analysis. Therein lies the challenge. It is a race against time.
On Saturday evening we immediately put Maddie in a plastic nappy cover, with no diaper underneath, so we could ‘catch’ the output without it being absorbed. And guess what? Her bowels didn’t cooperate. She did manage to urinate all over us, her stuffed animals, the furniture, and nearly the cat before we gave up for the night and finally put her in a diaper so we could all get some sleep. Then she promptly blew out a perfect green load that was absorbed immediately.
On Sunday we started over, determined to get the sample we needed. We were ready at a moment’s notice all morning, with spoon and plastic bag. And guess what? She had no bowel movements all morning…. but again wetted the entire apartment. Then we thought, ’she must be over the diarreah’ and gave up for the day. So it was really hilarious when she started exploding regularly AFTER our guests arrived for our bar-b-que at 2:00. Then Sunday night she vomited, which added to the fun. But still no sample to take downtown!
Monday morning. Baby up early. Massive green poops in diaper, but time of emission unknown, so useless. Call it Murphy’s Law, or whatever, but at the most inopportune moment (just before leaving for work) we got what we wanted; a nice pure sample all over her bottom and the waterproof diaper changing surface. Spooned into a bag, then dad headed downtown ASAP at 7:20 am. Start the clock.
Dakar traffic is not kind, especially on a Monday morning at rush hour. After waiting forever for a taxi, dad got a ride in with an embassy friend who lives next door, and it took about an hour to even get downtown. Not knowing exactly where the laboratory was, dad had to get out and search for it on foot (the original plan was to call Bio24 when in the area and get specific directions, but dad’s credit on his cell phone ran out exactly at this time.) Fun times, running through the busy streets of downtown Dakar with a bag of baby s**t knowing that if he didn’t find the lab within 19.5 minutes, the morning’s efforts would be for naught. INSHALLAH, eventually dad found the lab and the sample was analyzed just in time. Hooray for dad. He finally arrived at work 2 1/2 hours after leaving his house, dusty and covered in grimy exhaust.
The follow-up this riveting story is not very exciting. On Monday, the day that the sample was finally delivered and analysed, Maddie started pooping regularly and yellow again, and the results verified that in fact there are no parasites or viruses (we’ll find out today whether she has any bacteria). But she is now “fit as a fiddle.”
Ah, the joys of parenthood.
