Birthday 3 October 6, 2009

Over the weekend of September 19-20, dear Madeline had her THIRD birthday celebration.  WOW!  It was great.  After much build-up, on Friday afternoon the big kids’ party finally took place.  Mom had spent most of the week planning the event – and did a professional job.  All kinds of games and activities were planned to keep big groups of kids busy.  Alas, the day was filled with near-constant torrential rain storms.  Very bad luck that the monsoon has just arrived (over the past few days beforehand it was like this more often than not.)

Unfortunatly, all of this meant that mom had to resort to ‘Plan B’ on the day of the event, which meant moving everything indoors.  But no problem, as she has arranged a small army of people to help her (well, Rani and Vanita). About a down little kids showed up and about that many nannies (here in Sri Lanka, it’s quite common for parents to not attend kids birthday parties, and to send a delegation of kid + nanny instead.) It makes for an interesting social situation, as most of them don’t really speak English.

The party started at 15:00 and visitors were very prompt.  A few parents actually showed up but in these dases they just dropped their kids and nannies off at the house and kept going.  The kids automatically took to the different ‘fun stations’ as if they all knew beforehand where everything was and what was on offer!  Everybody had a great time playing – a real quality party.  The most popular activity table was the crown-making one – everybody made one, though not all of them were dry enough to wear by the time the party ended (too humid and materials too cheap!)  There was also a play-dough stand and a sand table to play with (that funky and sticky sort of ’space sand’ that Maddie has too much of…)

Another popular event was the ‘pin-the-tail-on-boots’.  Dad made a large poster-sized colored drawing of one of Madeline’s favorite characters and mom prepared ribbon for his tail.  Most kids at the party had never heard of pin-the-tail but thoroughly enjoyed it and were good at it.  Nadira came closest and she got a prize – a brand new fancy bubble-making kit!

Then the cake – Mom had made a perfect chocolate cake, straight from Betty Crocker’s kitchen (via the American Embassy, of course.)  Dad decorated this one-layer cake with lots of pink frosting and designs with sprinkles just before the party, so the icing didn’t have a chance to melt too much before the cake was presented.  Too much!  Maddie of course loved it and it was almost completely gone in about 10 minutes.

And what about little brother Calvin?  He also had a great time – and had a buddy to hang out with the whole time.  He and little James were two peas in a pod – they are fast becoming best friends.  They just sort of chilled out and watched the party go by.

Madeline was so happy with her party – she will never forget it, I am sure.  It’s one of those few things that is obsessed over forever before it occurs but when it happens, it actually lives up to its expectations.  She had all of her favorite people there and got lots of great gifts.  And some kids were able to go outside for a brief time between rain storms and play on the swings (but this didn’t last long.)

By 18:00 almost everybody had gone – somewhat suddenly!  It’s as if they all realized they would turn into pumpkins by a certain time.

And the party did not stop there!  The next day the family splurged and went to a very nice hotel at the beach just north of Colombo.  On Sunday, Madeline’s actual birthday, we had the family celebration which meant yet another gift-giving ocassion.  Then on Tuesday at school Maddie had another little birthday party (she took cupcakes for everybody, again from Betty Crocker.)  This was an event that just kept going on and on!  Just the way it should be.

A belated birthday post. October 17, 2008

Yes, in fact we DID celebrate Madeline’s birthday last month in style, though it was not the way we had originally planned it to be.  Our intent from the beginning was to have a big party with lots of people and food and drinks, but as our shipment was so late to arrive in Sri Lanka, we had to put that on hold (we had purchased so many party favors in the states that were in the shipment).  Anyway, it was fantastic and Maddie had a superb time.

As a parent, to think back only a few years and realize that before that time your child didn’t even exist… it’s mind-blowing.  Of course I will never forget that fateful day in Vallejo, California in our hospital suite overlooking beautiful Marine World… the long night of Sept. 19th-20th waiting waiting…. sleeping with peanut-sized Madeline curled under my arm, not knowing what the hell we were doing and totally lost taking care of this new ‘thing’ (to the point where a nurse actually had to show us how to install the car seat, and did it for us).

So on Saturday, September 20th, we had a modest little cupcake gathering on a beach in a place called Bentota, Sri Lanka, south of Colombo.  It was perfect, really.  That weekend we took our first trip as a family outside of Colombo and headed south about 2 hours from our house.  We left on Friday afternoon, arriving just in time for dinner, and came back on Sunday afternoon.  We went with a group of other (mostly) families from school with kids, most importantly for Maddie, her friends Amy and Sonia were there too.  The weekend was all about just relaxing and spending time together as families… and for us, getting to know other folks at the school as well.  There are so many children in the community around Maddie’s age, with parents who are really neat people, easy to hang out with, and more or less our same age.  A real treat for mom and dad!

As the sun got lower in the sky we gathered everyone on the beach and officially broke out the cupcakes.  We had bought Betty Crocker cake mix and chocolate frosting (with sprinkles!) the week before (where? A secret!) and baked them on Thursday night before heading south.  Hugely enjoyed by all, and we had just enough for kids and parents who wanted them.  Not really a gift-giving party, which suited Maddie perfectly.  She just got to play and play and play with her friends in her favorite environment: the beach.

Happy 2nd birthday, dear Madeline.

Settling in. September 9, 2008

As always when moving to a new country and a new school, it has been a crazy and very busy time over the past month. We started school on 12 August; the previous week we moved into our house, but between the two our time was filled with so many meetings and obligations… so the settling-in part has been drawn out and slow.

This is our forth country overseas, and it’s a completely different experience with a small child. First of all, the option to pull 12-15 hour days to get up to speed at first is simply doesn’t exist. Therefore everything that needs to be done professionally has to fit within the confines of an 8 to 9 hour work day. It’s an impossible amount of time to get everything done! Secondly, when you are at work during the day, you constantly wonder about your kid, and whether she is settling on ok with the new nanny, etc. It’s all very taxing.

Madeline has had at times severe separation anxiety, resulting from having almost 2 months of mom and dad being 100% available for her, every day. This would happen at the start of a school year anywhere, obviously not specific to being here. But putting it all together, it’s very trying, to say the least! But the fact that Madeline keeps us from being at school for 15 hours a day is a good thing, and serves to keep up grounded, reminding us of what is important and keeping everything in perspective.

So, just what is the girl up to these days? Sri Lanka has been quite a change for her – she’s at an interesting age where as long as she has her basic needs attended to, she’s still content, but is on the edge of needing much more and being profoundly affected by big changes. The fact that this is a change from the cozy, comfortable confines of Green Valley doesn’t help.

Many days went by before our departures in the morning did not cause huge tears and upsets. Now she enjoys when Rani comes and likes her very much… but the departures in the morning are still hard for mo mand dad. We’d much rather she have a good time with us each day instead of Rani!

Maddie’s health has not been super thus far in Sri Lanka (nor has Mom’s). She’s had more little colds in the first 3 weeks than she probably ever had in her whole life. At the moment she is fit as a fiddle, and doesn’t ever seem to be slowed down my much anyway. Two days before school started, she was up all night barfing, in one of the most disastrous nights we’ve had with her. But she bounced right back (though mom got sick a few days afterwards). Many people here with children tell us that it’s very common for kids to get sick a lot during the first few months after moving here. The change to the heavy humid island air can be dramatic.

Madeline started school on Monday the 25^th of August, and is going there 3 days a week in the mornings. Actually, it’s not really school, but a nice day-care place not far from our house. It’s great for her! More on this later.

When not in school, Madeline’s days are filled with play and plenty of play dates. Her best friend here is Sonia (pictured above!) Rani keeps her as busy as she can while keeping the house clean and tidy – it’s a big job for her, and we’ve been trying to get her permanent help. We’ve been through 2 different housekeepers already, as everyone wants a full time job, and we can only offer part-time. The scenario has been that someone will start working for us, then find another full time job and move on. Just last evening we hired someone part time who already has a job with another teacher at the school, and between the two part time salaries, she’s earning decent pay, so I think she will be happy.

The days where Maddie doesn’t go to school or another house for a play date can be hard for her, as we all know that she’s the kind of kid who really needs to get out and find lots of action. Our gardener, Namil, lives across the street and is a tuk-tuk driver, always available to take the girls anywhere. Maddie loves him, and loves riding in his tuk-tuk.

Finally we are feeling settled and comfortable and the hardest part is behind us.

Winding down in West Africa. June 5, 2008

Amazingly, everyone’s to-do lists are getting smaller and smaller as the Senegal departure date approaches – Madeline included! Yesterday, for example, she had her last ‘play date’ with one of her very best friends, Julie, who lives down the street from us. Julie and her family are moving to DR Congo and Maddie will miss her very much. And of course the time is almost upon us when Maddie will have to say goodbye to her beloved nanny, Leye. But we are not talking about that right now…

As is always the case, the last few weeks of the school year are filled with an almost constant stream of events and obligations, most of them fun (in theory); but as the saturation point is reached, they become ‘not so fun’. Last weekend we had our ‘au revoir Senegal’ party here, arranging to have Madeline spend the night at Julie’s house. This was her first sleep-over ever! It was a bit strange waking up and not having her with us, but I guess it was good for all. I’m not quite ready for that sort of thing yet.

Miss Madeline is doing great. I think she is starting to have an idea that her life is about to radically change. Up until this week, I would’ve commented about the innocent oblivion of babies, about how they can just live their happy lives during periods of change, and how this is to be envied. Well, she knows something is up. I can’t put my finger on how I know this – I just know. Her life will soon become even richer than it is now, because she’ll have mom and dad without work AND both of her extended families around her for the next few months. What a lucky kid! Then she moves to another beautiful tropical island where she’ll have a personal nanny as sweet and attentive as Leye… and will be starting ’school’ in August for the very first time. Life could hardly be better for this little one.

A few weekends ago, the family made its last outing outside of Dakar. We drove to our new favorite spot in Saly called the Africa Lodge, run by Laurent and Sophie, on Friday after school. Saly is an ideal destination as it is easy to reach before dark on a Friday afternoon – we didn’t return until late Sunday night so it really was a long (ish) holiday weekend. We spent the weekend with the Thomsons, our British friends with 2 daughters, Katie and Jessica. All had a great time (though drank and ate way too much). Madeline and Katie had a grand time playing and running around with one another. At times they had ‘conversations’ in which they discussed such topics as going to the beach. It’s amazing and rewarding to see Madeline interacting with another toddler this way (Katie is about 8 months older than Maddie).

It was a bit bizarre to think that this would be the last time in Senegal outside of Dakar. A little bit sad, but only a little bit! We are ready to move on.

11 mois and back home. August 25, 2007

Madeline! This baby is developing a personality that is becoming more and more defined each and every day. Sometimes we see more of a little girl in her than a baby…. which is both magical and scary at the same time. She turned 11 months this past week.

The family is back in Senegal and settled, having arrived a week ago. The two long flights from the west coast of the USA were no problem for Maddie this time. She traveled and flew around so much over the summer that she’s an ‘old pro’ now. She was remarkably easy to fly with, which made this trip infinitely more enjoyable for mom and dad (and everyone else on those planes).

However, the girl has had a difficult time adjusting to the 7-hour time difference. This past week has seen some exceptionally difficult nights for all of us. The word frustrating doesn’t even begin to describe dealing with her stubborn non-sleeping habits from midnight to 3:00 am. Mom and dad have this grand sleeping plan that we intend to implement once she gets back on Greenwich Mean Time. Once she gets adjusted, we are going to get her sleeping through the night, come “hell or high water”. Stay tuned to see how that goes! Actually, she is more or less adjusted now, taking at least one long, solid nap during the daytime each day, and going down to sleep consistently around 8:00 pm. It’s what happens between 8:00 pm and 4:00 am that is the problem. We have done nothing this past week outside of our work schedule to disturb her routine, as this is obviously first priority for all of us right now.

Maddie has been sleeping in each morning, something she has never done. On the one hand, this is nice for early-rising people in the house because it means that they can start their day with some ‘down time’. On the other hand, it’s a real drag to have her wake up just before we have to go to work, depriving us of our quality Maddie time in the mornings. Maybe when next week rolls around, and we have to be at school at 8:00 instead of 9:00, everything will get going earlier in the household and she won’t sleep so late. And maybe we are living in a permanent pipe-dream if we think this baby will ever sleep exactly the hours we want her to!

Dad has worked very hard this week to “baby-proof” the apartment, and it has been time-consuming. We put this off in June before we left for the USA, but now Madeline is so mobile and getting into everything with such ease, that it has to be done. It never ceases to amaze me how a baby can be surrounded by toys and playthings (including the cat), yet will consistently want to play with the most dangerous thing in the room time and time again, no matter how small or hidden that item is. Baby-proofing has thus far meant putting all floor plants outside on balconies, and organizing the many electrical elements (extension cords, plugs, 220-110V transformers, regulators, etc) while at the same time hiding them from sight. This has taken creativity and resourcefulness. But we are getting there. Baby-proofing serves the added purpose of giving the apartment more order and size, and creating more open space (which is always a good thing with a roaming baby around!)

Maddie seems to have gotten a bit bored with standing though still does it frequently, and takes a few steps occasionally. She knows that she can get places quickly and effortlessly by crawling and ‘cruising’ (walking while holding on to some fixed object). She has been cruising more lately. She is still mimicking sounds and gestures, and tries to sing ‘Old MacDonald’. When she sees mom she says ‘mama’ and, to a lesser extent, says ‘dad’ when she sees dad. More often, when she sees dad, she says simply, ‘hi!’. She still loves her walks (strolls), and we have tried to get her outside at least once every day, though the weather has been hot and humid here.

Maddie and Laye are best friends again, after a funny and unpredictable start on Monday morning, which was the first time they had seen each other in two months. Surprisingly, Maddie didn’t seem to recognize her. Something seemed to spark in the deep recesses of her mind, but it seemed more confusion than recognition. But this didn’t last long, and by Tuesday, Maddie was crawling towards Laye’s familiar voice all over the apartment.

Maddie and Hobbes continue to ‘bond’ – and she seemed to be more familiar with him than with Laye. She finally seems to be getting the idea of petting him softly and not tearing out great chunks of cat fur. And he more than tolerates her. At times he seems to actually like her and wants to be in the same room as her (though not too close, of course, as one of her favorite games is to corner him, which makes him uncomfortable). Unfortunately, over the past few days Hobbes has gotten fleas, making his temperament unpleasant but we’ll get that cleared up shortly. If the baby gets fleas, we’ll deal with that too!

Yummy toes. February 4, 2007

At 4.5 months now, Madeline is entering an irresistibly cute stage of ‘babyhood’. Just when we thought it were not possible for her to be any cuter, each week reveals a new baby trick. The most recent one is her discovery that she can put her toes in her mouth. She now does this with reckless abandon at all opportunities!

We had another very baby-social weekend. Yesterday we played in the social league softball tournament all day (came in second place in our league), and Maddie was there cheering us on from her perch. Of course there is always someone to watch her when mom and dad are playing ball. We really try to be social as much as possible with the baby… and as a result, so far she is quite comfortable in just about anyone’s arms. We hope to keep it this way.

We also went to a birthday party for a 1 year-old yesterday. A nice time, especially since there were so many other babies there at various ages. It’s fun to compare different sized babies and marvel at how much bigger an 8 month-old is than a 4 month-old. It really is amazing.

Today we are finally spending a nice quiet day together after a long busy week with work and everything else. Next weekend is another quiet one before the long weekend of WAIST (West African Invitational Softball Tournament). Teams come in from all over West Africa for this annual tournament. Always a crazy, fun-filled adventure. We will be hosting 2 Peace Corps volunteers in our apartment for the weekend, which will be interesting with Maddie this time around. I hope she doesn’t mind giving up her room for three days.

The great outdoors. December 7, 2006

The weather has gotten nice and cool in Dakar which is great for Maddie and her little temperature system – no more heat rashes! Today the 3 of us went for a walk around our neighborhood just before sunset and it was the coolest it has felt here since last winter. Maddie loved it until she got fussy to eat (drink).

There are so many cultural differences between Senegalese and Americans that come out when babies are around. For example, we try not to dress Maddie in too many clothes since we live in a tropical climate. But when Senegalese see that we are carrying around our babies with no socks, they are aghast! For some reason, African babies are wrapped up in several layers even when the weather is hot…. and tonight was ‘cold’ enough that the winter caps were out in full force! And there is something about a baby’s feet that somehow are special in Senegal – this was not the first foot comment we’ve gotten here.